Flatulence, Faculty, and Foust

I was scrolling through authors at the Pennsound site after my classes today and came across the name of Lara Odell–you know, Logan Esdale’s wife? It was wedged just between Alice Notley and Charles Olson.

The site has actually inducted two of her video projects into its galleries, with one featuring none other than our dear friend Logan. The ever-pensive pedagogue here joins poet-rock star Graham Foust to discuss their latest publication: A 360 page book examining the consequences of the whoopie cushion in a post-modern age. It is a profound examination of flatulence during a time when “so much that happens, doesn’t really happen.”

This stuff is like, real life hilarious (segments with Charles Bernstein never hurt). But also incredible.

“Unmaking Whoopee, or the Text is Thus a Gas” -2006

PS: I had no IDEA there was this much hubbub in the put it up! Clearly Greg’s photo wins though. Free iPod Touch for you.

Oh, everything.

I spent the last few hours going through old videos and photos of us in our best days. Here are a few gems.

From Spring Break 2005, John figuring out my camera before an epic game of Pictionary.

Make the cyber jump for more.

The Internet Can’t Do Everything

One of the things the internet cannot do is write. Jimmy Wales might disagree with me, but here’s some solid proof. Wiki Penguin is a website put together by Penguin Books. The idea was to see if a group of people could self organize and edit an online novel. Eventually, it came together (not in all respects) and can be found here. VIA

Some choice quotes:

With a word it begins … the sound of clicking keys and the smell of wet fur fill the room. Möbius strips made of banana yellow construction paper and Scotch tape are scattered haphazardly across the floor. The chief monkey, careful not to slip and fall, ambles from desk to desk collecting papers before pasting them slowly and deliberately into a gigantic scrapbook. He scratches himself, enjoying the sensation. If he had been able to read, as he once had been, he would have read something similar, or perhaps completely different, to the following…..

If only he had purchased that popular typing tutor software so many years ago, he would not have this cross to bear.

Perhaps then, if a person could live with the circular structure of this text, if they could truly be at peace with its serpentine narrative devouring its own tail, and its refusal to serve up pre-packaged understanding, then perhaps they were on the path to a meaning that humans, for all their self laudable wisdom, had lost.

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day… a swim, perhaps, but not a walk – for Artie was a whale, a humpback whale, to be precise,at least in these moments.

Yup.

And a rather good write up on why it fell on it’s face.

The Truth About Freak Folk Racism

A few weeks ago, I posted Animal Collective’s latest EP Water Curses on the blog–which by the way, because I’m me, I think is ridiculously good. If you didn’t download it then, then the link is probably dead and you should do it now. Songs about wanting to be like water, loving walks, being goofy–In other words, ideal for the weather we’ve been having lately.

Anyway, to get to my point: Some dude named Andrew Beckerman posted this review of Water Curses nailing the band as racist and fascist and other nasty things like calling the band the “latest manifestation of the concealed bourgeois conception of nature” which is hilarious and probably worth a read if you’re bored like me. That’s all. VIA

More Garden Paths

Okay, so, these aren’t quite as straight-forward or as great as the huge list of garden path headlines I posted earlier, but i DID find them myself and they ARE directly from MLB.COM’s (that’s Major League Baseball for all you music lovers out there) news section both within the last two days. I’ll add a subtitle to each to make it a little more clear why I found them funny…cheating, i know, but….bare with me:

• TOOLS DETERMINE WHO IS MLB’S ELITE (but who cares what those assholes think)
• PETTITTE SCRATCHED WITH INFLAMED ELBOW (made itch much worse) 

I laughed out loud when I first read the second one….the first one’s a bit more of a stretch i guess.While we’re on the subject, I guess I’ll point out that “When I first read the second one” is stupid-sounding. END 

Shiv on the Internet, and more!

It was just brought to my attention that my name has made an appearance on the internet. Unfortunately, they are talking about the improvizational knife but I’m still flattered. And, to top it off, it’s on quite a neat blog. Presenting the Language Log. The linguists online heaven. Syntax, Phenomes, the correct usage of “shiv.” It’s all there. And here’s the video from last week’s post, “Texting Shiv”

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 And, in other news, April 18th is Poop for Peace Day.

Stuff White People Like

 

Here’s a blog for you. One that tells us everything we like. In fact, it was recently brought up to me that most of the stuff on this blog is stuff white people, do in fact, really really like. Think I’m kidding? Check this out. The list includes Sara Silverman, microbreweries, Obama, and expensive sandwiches.

Essay on France.

Get ready to waste your time.

Meet “Dax Flame,” who in reality is a sixteen year old name Bernice Juach. A little over a year ago he started posting a video blog. Watch with horror and amusement at his extreme inability to understand/communicate with himself/others. I couldn’t figure out which to choose, but if you’re interested, there’s one about a pee fight, and also one in which he throws Gramma in the pool. This is only the beginning, my friends.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Here’s a hilarious list of ambiguous, “garden-path” newspaper headlines:

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED

DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

12 ON THEIR WAY TO CRUISE AMONG DEAD IN PLANE CRASH

KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS AT CHECKOUT COUNTER

MAN EATING PIRANHA MISTAKENLY SOLD AS PET FISH

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

QUARTER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER

INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING COOKIES

OLD SCHOOL PILLARS ARE REPLACED BY ALUMNI

GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

LAWMEN FROM MEXICO BARBECUE GUESTS

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

LACK OF BRAINS HINDERS RESEARCH

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE

SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

HERSHEY BARS PROTEST